Right now, I am in a waiting period. In a book I'm re-reading called "Lady in Waiting" there's a chapter entitled 'Lady of Patience.' There's a part that stuck out to me in this chapter and it reads:
"If God is faithful, why is it so easy to lose patience? Why is it so hard to wait? Why is it easier to settle for less than God's best? Fear is a huge hindrance to waiting......Fear is an internal pressure."
I'm re-reading this book because of a message my pastor preached on Sunday. He titled it "God's delay is not God's denial." The book ("Lady in Waiting") is subtitled 'becoming God's best while waiting for Mr. Right' but the contents of the chapter aren't just about how to deal with being a single woman waiting on a man, but more so about being a single, COMPLETE woman in God and the attributes of that woman. As I am re-reading the book, I'm reading the chapters out of order (got that from my bestie, shout outs to Mon Ami!). I'm reading the sections that pertain to what I'm facing at the moment.
The portion that I mentioned in the patience chapter spoke volumes to me because I realized that I still had fear within me. And it's not just about being single, but about all the different things that I know God has in store for me, things that will reflect my relationship with Him that I have yet to see manifest. And I realized that my impatience was due to fear; fear of not seeing these things come to pass and also a fear of not knowing what exactly was to come or how and when it would come. But as I read through the chapter (specifically the portion I quoted) I was reminded that God IS faithful and He's never failed me, so why should I start getting restless now?
What helped me really get pass the different fears was the Word. And it wasn't the 2 Timothy 1:7 scripture that everyone quotes when they are fearful ("For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind" NKJV). The scripture that encouraged me was a psalm (my fave book of the Bible, by the way). Psalm 131 was the passage and it states:
"Lord, my heart is not proud; my eyes are not haughty. I don't concern myself with matters too great or too awesome for me to grasp. Instead, I have calmed and quieted myself, like a weaned child who no longer cries for its mothers milk. Yes, like a weaned child is my soul within me. O Israel, put your hope in the Lord - now and always." (NLT)
In The Message it reads like this:
"God, I'm not trying to rule the roost, I don't want to be king of the mountain. I haven't meddled where I have no business or fantasized grandiose plans. I've kept my feet on the ground, I've cultivated a quiet heart. Like a baby content in its mother's arms, my soul is a baby content. Wait, Israel, for God. Wait with hope. Hope now; hope always!"
I'm the type of person who likes to know things before I get into it and I get impatient when I don't know what's going on. But I don't need to struggle with not knowing because I'm not a baby in Christ anymore. I know my DADDY, I know what He can do and I trust that He is and will do what's best for me. And if it means that sometimes I'm not to know all the details, then I will quiet myself and just bask in His presence.
And so I took the psalmists exhort, "wait with hope" and the author's exhort, "wait patiently and win triumphantly the future your Father has planned for you."
Blessings til next time!!
